Did my intuition fail me when finding out new house?
I was expecting to hear trumpets blaring, angels singing and a tingling all over when I first stepped into my dream home. But instead I felt resistance, dread and a stubborn “NO, I am not living here!” as I stood on the footpath refusing to go back inside for another look.
We had been looking for a new house since we sold ours 5 months ago. I fully expected it would be an enlightened moment when I found our dream house which would signal that our destiny was upon us. But no it wasn’t to be.
Why is it that sometimes we resist what our souls are longing for the most. Our fear buttons are pushed, making us look within to release another layer that is holding us back. I had a very uncomfortable few days working through my resistance. If it wasn’t for my husband’s enthusiasm for this house I could have easily walked away – that would have been the easy thing to do. But instead I had to face my fears, understand and acknowledge that they have been serving me well, but it was time to let them go. Every house move we have had since selling our house has been met with initial resistance from me, taking a few days to ease into accepting what comes next.
The mind has a clear idea of where it wants to be and what is best for its human. Often the mind is not on the same page as the soul when running the show. It can be challenging to know who to listen to sometimes.
I did some soul writing for myself on this subject when I realised how negative I was feeling towards this house when my husband was sure it was the one. I thought my soul writing would confirm that I was right and the house was not for us, instead I nearly fell off my chair as the words that formed confirmed that my fears and resistance were not founded. How could I have interpreted this so wrong? I was a bit embarrassed even, that I had considered this an intuitive feeling of NO instead it was an ego/mind NO that was influencing me so strongly. It confirmed to me the benefit of checking in with the inner wisdom and running a big decision like this past the larger power within rather than relying on the lower intuitive connections. I know this sounds crazy but what feels like our intuition can sometimes be linked to the mind/ego.
So how can we navigate this minefield of mind/ego and intuition/soul? I think it takes practice and dedication to learn more about ourselves and how we operate. The one thing I did do to work through my resistance was just to take very small action steps in the direction of pursuing the house. I made a phone call to ask some questions about the house, did some research on the builder of the house, made an appointment with our finance broker to run through some numbers. Each of these little steps actually felt good. My resistance started to fall away. If this had not been the right path then these steps would not have felt good. The soul loves action and just taking tiny steps forward and actioning a thought or idea can tell you whether you are moving in alignment with the soul’s flow. It will feel good and it will feel easy. Things will start to fall into place.
We will all be different in this process and learn and grow at different rates. Soul Writing for me, is the surest way to cut through the mind/ego influence and get to the deepest desires and truth that I have. Action is the other step that is important to navigate what is soul and what is ego. Ego will sit back and love inaction; the soul will thrive through action. If you are on the soul path then the action will start to feel good even if the first step is a bit scary.
So after a shaky start, I am looking forward to moving into our new home next month!!.
I believe that knowing who we are at our unique soul level holds the key to living an authentic and joyful life. Once we know who we are, we can begin to BE who we are, and then BECOME who we were always destined to be.
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Copyright 2018 Paula Vanderzon