My Story
Today I am the healthiest, happiest and most peaceful version of me that I have ever been.
It hasn't been an easy road for me though. In my 30s I was exhausted, done with life, confused, struggling and in constant pain and stress.
But I made the choice to stick around and I am sure glad that I did!
A diagnosis of chronic fatigue syndrome in 2006 was the turning point.
With two children aged 3 and 5 who I no longer had the strength to take care of, a medical research job that I had to leave, and no answers or cures from the medical community I turned down the alternative avenue.
Reiki was my first introduction to all things spiritual.
I had never heard of chakras or auras or energy healing before this class. It suddenly opened my eyes and eased my suffering. I realised I was not just my physical body and all of its pain and stress. There was suddenly a greater purpose to my life. I was a spiritual being having a physical experience. I had entered 4th dimensional consciousness and I liked it!!
Immersing myself in the spiritual development world I attended every course I could, constantly read spiritual books, followed the teachings of many well know spiritual gurus, all with a single passion and purpose to figure out who I was and how I could use all these spiritual techniques and teachings to make my life look and feel better.
I even became a spiritual teacher and healer myself.
After 4 years of teaching others, healing others, following all the spiritual rules, healing myself and doing all the "right" things, I decided to stop and leave it all behind.
I shut up shop. Closed my healing practice, stopped teaching Reiki and other spiritual development courses.
I went back to my medical research job part-time.
I honestly felt like a big failure. What I had been teaching just wasn't working for me anymore. It didn't feel right, something was missing and I couldn't keep teaching what I didn't heart-fully believe in anymore.
So I gave it up, took a break and just for fun started working on a project with a friend we called the "New Human" project.
This was 2012
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I gave a couple of free public talks about this New Human project and also talked about living in the 5th Dimension and how to connect to Soul.
Although I wasn't an expert by any means, giving talks was a way of organising the information in my mind so that I could better understand what I was striving to know more about. People responded positively to the information. I could feel deep down inside of me that I was on the right path but I just couldn't quite figure out how I could combine these new teachings with the spiritual world and popular teachings that I had grown to love. In 2014 I had the nudge from within me to start teaching Reiki again, and so I did. |
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Even though I was teaching the same class with the same content, there was a difference. Somehow I was able to incorporate the 5th dimensional soul concepts with the 4th dimensional spiritual modality. I was bringing a different intent and meaning to my classes.
I realised that I didn't need to leave it all behind, I just needed to change my focus slightly.
What I found was that most spiritual teachings (including the ones that I had taught) actually dis-empowered people. People were giving their power away to these techniques. We are taught how to connect to angels and guides and beings that were greater and more powerful than us and to ask them to protect us and heal us and save us. We are taught how to "white light" ourselves to protect us from the harsh energies of the world. We are taught to channel energies that came from outside of us.
All of these techniques dis-empower if not used with the correct intention.
After teaching for a few years with these empowerement themes, I again, walked away from teaching classes.
Another shift in perspective happened for me. The techniques and tools I had been using for years just felt like a distraction. Nothing outside of me felt necessary anymore. My focus moved entirely internal. I realised that the goal was no longer about making my life look and feel better, it was about completely changing, evolving and transforming my life - from the inside out.
I was feeling deeply that our human species was on the cusp of evolving and transforming in a way that has never happened before in our history. I could feel this happening to me. Everything in my reality was shifting, and I was creating my life, step by step from within. I am still the same person, the changes are subtle to others, but to me, I am so different.
I realised that I didn't need to leave it all behind, I just needed to change my focus slightly.
What I found was that most spiritual teachings (including the ones that I had taught) actually dis-empowered people. People were giving their power away to these techniques. We are taught how to connect to angels and guides and beings that were greater and more powerful than us and to ask them to protect us and heal us and save us. We are taught how to "white light" ourselves to protect us from the harsh energies of the world. We are taught to channel energies that came from outside of us.
All of these techniques dis-empower if not used with the correct intention.
After teaching for a few years with these empowerement themes, I again, walked away from teaching classes.
Another shift in perspective happened for me. The techniques and tools I had been using for years just felt like a distraction. Nothing outside of me felt necessary anymore. My focus moved entirely internal. I realised that the goal was no longer about making my life look and feel better, it was about completely changing, evolving and transforming my life - from the inside out.
I was feeling deeply that our human species was on the cusp of evolving and transforming in a way that has never happened before in our history. I could feel this happening to me. Everything in my reality was shifting, and I was creating my life, step by step from within. I am still the same person, the changes are subtle to others, but to me, I am so different.
Reiki still holds a special place in my heart as it was the most important step I ever took in my evolution, but I cannot teach it anymore.
My work with clients evolved into just holding a space for their own transformation. I can show them a pathway that they may not have ever noticed before. All I have to do is stay connected to the power within me, and radiate this out into the world in everything that I do.
There are no spiritual rules, right or wrong, or good or bad. We are all perfectly perfect and on our own paths in divine perfect timing. As more and more people on this planet evolve into their divine higher selves we will all benefit. We all have a part to play. Every time we process a past hurt or emotion, we evolve, and this helps others do the same.
When I started working in a crystal shop in 2020 I was able to experience my own healing/transformation through higher and deeper levels and the previous client and teaching work I did seemed to mash up together in a new and meaningful way. Customers asking me questions and my opinion would draw answers through me that they needed, they would give me messages (not intentionally on their part) for what I needed to work on, and being surrounded by so many crystals everyday was certainly pushing any of my unprocessed emotions and rules up to the surface to be transformed. I experienced what it meant to embody an essence that just held space for my own presence but also allowed others to experience their own self.
There is no doing anymore, it is just about being as authentic as possible in every aspect of life and radiating this out into the world
We are all in this together.
Paula xx
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