The last 6 months or so have been an emotional roller coaster for many of us. I have learned that we can no longer deny our emotions or our feelings. We can’t heal them, clear them, push them to one side or "suck it up" and get on with it, but instead we simply need to feel whatever it is that we feel and make the emotions a welcome part of us.
There have been plenty of opportunities for me to experiment with emotions lately and what I have found is that the opposite of what is considered “normal” works wonderfully.
We are taught from a very young age not to express our emotions as it is a sign of weakness or is inconvenient, and instead we learn how to hold them in and push them aside. So when these unpleasant emotions come into our awareness to loudly distract us, our instinct is to push them away or react to them. They are unpleasant and unwanted. But what if we were to actually give them more energy….
About 6 months ago I had a very surprising conversation with someone. I was stunned and hurt by what this person said to me, and because I was speechless from the shock I didn’t actually defend myself or say what I wanted to say. This conversation has been floating in and out of my consciousness for months. Sometimes it gets really loud and is on repeat in my mind. I also have the reply I want to say to this person on repeat in my mind. I get really angry and annoyed and sad and outraged when I think about the conversation, showing me that the thoughts are closely tied with the emotions. Other than have a heated conversation with the person and react to the emotions I was feeling, I couldn’t see any other way to process this and move on. But what I did instead was to totally embrace and feel these emotions.
During a moment when this past conversation was on a loud loop in my mind, I lay down with my eyes closed and let the thoughts get louder and louder. I let the emotions get bigger and all I did was allow them to totally envelop me. It almost felt like they were a blanket of energy that covered me. I wasn’t trying to find closure or meaning, my focus was just on giving the thoughts and emotions and the past conversation as much energy and attention as I possibly could, allowing all of this thought and emotion to move through me and get as big and powerful as it could. I found that there were layers of thought and emotion that came up “under” the initial ones. I also let these get bigger and also take up my whole energetic field. Quite to my surprise when many layers of emotion had come up, there was a moment of clarity, then everything stopped and I felt peace.
I was not aiming for clarity or closure, my aim was just to fully feel everything, so I was surprised about the clarity that came. If you are trying this for yourself then maybe don’t focus too much on the clarity, if it comes then great, if not, you have still moved the emotions around your body which is the main aim.
It seems that emotions become stuck in us like big balls of rigid energy, and by letting them get bigger and louder and actually giving them more energy it helps move this ball of energy and get the emotions unstuck.
From my experimenting, I had to wait until the thoughts and emotions were “in my face” and very loud and persistent for this to work. I am not sure I would have easily been able to dredge these emotions up at will and then do this process, I had to wait until they organically came back into my awareness.
Now that I have processed these emotions, embraced them and made them a part of me, I am not hurt at all by this past conversation. When I think about it there is no emotion at all invoked…. just a peaceful feeling of contentment.
We are here as humans to experience all ranges of emotions (not just pick and choose which ones we want to feel) and so denying certain emotions or feelings, leaves us unbalanced. If we haven't "processed" an emotion and totally embraced it, then we tend to choose actions which are a re-action to the energy of the emotion. In my example the only way my 3D logical mind imagined closure was to have a conversation with this person and REACT to the things that they said to me. I don't think this would have given me the peace that I desired. These emotions belonged to me and although they were awakened by the conversation, they were deeply stuck energies that I had been carrying for a long time. The only way to move on is to totally feel and process the energy of the emotions (which are just energy-in-motion) so they can move freely.
Once we process all the energies we have stored and stuck inside of us we no longer react to our environment. My conversation just brought to the surface an unprocessed emotion and although I was initially looking for ways to react to the feeling of this emotion I am glad I just let myself FEEL it. After all, MY emotion had nothing to do with the other person because it was mine to feel.
Once we no longer have to react to our environment we have mastered our emotions and can start to live a life that is more connected and more "human" than ever before. I call this living as a "New Human" or a "multi-dimensional human". Reacting to our environment is a 3rd Dimensional trait of cause and effect (also called polarity or karma) and once we no longer feel this need to react, we can be our own self-generating power source (not reliant on our environment for our choices and behaviours) but instead stand firmly as our authentic selves and be ourselves no matter what is going on around us.
Next time an unpleasant situation or emotion comes into your awareness, try giving it more energy and process it internally rather than react externally. This might take some practice but it is totally worth it.
I believe that knowing who we are at our unique soul level holds the key to living an authentic and joyful life. Once we know who we are, we can begin to BE who we are, and then BECOME who we were always destined to be.
Copyright 2023 Paula Vanderzon