I woke this morning with a sense that everything had changed.
Last week I was questioning everything. It was a type of existential crisis…. Wondering what the point of life was, being around people who had a specific view of life and knowing that their view (which is the view of the majority) just wasn’t a good fit for me, but having no idea what was a good fit for me.
This type of self reflection and enquiry is not new for me, but it took on a new perspective, coupled with lower back pain which I have not experienced for many years, I knew my foundations were being rocked and challenged and a new way would become clear for me soon.
I connected to the flow of my life this morning. I usually see this as doors opening wide, and a stream or flow of energy that is MY life force, coming from MY soul and from MY source energy (which originates from the one source/flow that we all come from). Normally I feel this flow strongly and just work on opening the doors as wide as they can go so I am open to every opportunity that comes my way.
This morning was different. The doors opened wide but there was no flow of energy, no movement, just an empty space. I stayed in this space, watching and waiting, and after awhile a new “flow” or energy came from my heart space and started to flow into the space.
Everything has changed.
The way we thought our lives were playing out may no longer be the case. There were so many new “things” ahead (I can’t make out any details, just a sense that this is all brand new, and my mind won’t be able to comprehend or make any sense or have a frame of reference to the details), and there was a very powerful new flow, slow and strong. Just like Aladdin entering the Cave of Wonders for the first time, we could feel overwhelmed at what is presenting itself to us as it is the first time we have ever seen or felt anything like this before. But we will be guided to what we need to pick up and experience in this new world.
I feel that we just need to step onto our life raft that is floating in our flow, and let it carry us to the opportunities that await us. It is no use forcing or pushing or controlling anything in our life anymore. This might still work for some people but for many others who have opened their hearts to the higher energies and processed their denser vibrations/past events/emotions etc, there is a newness that we won’t be able to get our little logical minds around.
Maybe the last few weeks have been challenging for you as more past emotions came up to be processed, or maybe your goals just aren’t working out like you had planned, or maybe you just feel like you don’t fit in your current life anymore. This could be because this new energy or your life flow was starting to build.
I don’t know what happens next, but I feel comfortable knowing that we just have to have faith and trust in our OWN inner knowing to guide us through this change and into the next step.
It also feels exciting. Change can be scary, but this feels like the type of change we have all been waiting for (maybe even praying for). The type of change that is going to rewrite our futures and give our hearts everything they have every desired (note: this may be very different from what your minds have desired, feel the difference – the heart usually doesn’t want new cars, bigger houses or more money!). The heart usually wants peace, belonging, fulfillment, service, empowerment, freedom, flow, ease, joy etc. I think this will be easier for us to obtain now.
As with every change there will be steps forward and steps backwards, confusion, and some angst. Spend as much time as you can with your inner wisdom (meditate, deep breaths, relax, have fun, laugh and play) and you will feel that you are being guided to exactly where you need to be, when you need to be there in this new energy, new life flow, and new world.
We create our own realities. Every moment of every day our experiences, emotions, thoughts and actions are all based on our beliefs/truths. What we see in the world around us and how we interpret this is all based on the choices we make about how we want to view the truth of this.
Each person will have a different viewpoint and perspective about events, although there are collective similarities that are influenced by the media and social constructs/norms.
When working with clients I often introduce different viewpoints or meanings to what they are experiencing. By taking a wider/higher viewpoint of what they are going through I can offer a perspective that they may not have considered. When we are stressed or in the thick of something it can be very difficult to move our consciousness out of the cycles or energy loops of grief/anger/suffering to see a different viewpoint. And it can often be challenging for people to accept that there may be a different reality to the one that they are participating in.
Sometimes I will suggest something that totally challenges everything a person holds true. I might suggest that the physical pain they are feeling is actually their body evolving, changing, moving and growing into a new vibrational space. And they may ask me - but how do you know that is true? How can you convince me that that is correct? They want concrete "proof" before they will believe and therefore shift their reality. This can be really tricky and not something I can convince someone of, but I suggest what I see is a viable alternative, and for those people that maybe humour me and go along with it just to see what happens, they do shift their reality and exciting, interesting things seem to happen.
But when we get stuck in thinking about real, correct, right/wrong, absolute realities, then we don't evolve.
I enjoy reading teenage fantasy fiction books because they let my mind explore other realities. I don't read them and analyse the content for "realness" or "correctness" I simply enjoy considering these as possible realities and relating the concepts to what could be possible in my own life and my own understanding of universal truth. Some books that I enjoyed recently include "A corner of white" series by Jaclyn Moriarty; "The night circus" by Erin Morgenstern; "Circe" by Madeline Miller. We can read books like these to "escape" our reality, but we can also use them to ignite new realities within us and therefore create them outside of us as well. I am not saying that I consider my life to be exactly how these books describe, but I do take inspiration for what might be possible, and I don't settle for the absolute reality that others seem to want to insist on (via the media and social norms) as I am determined to create a new reality and therefore a new world that I can fully live in and participate in.
Maybe we do live in parallel lives; maybe past, present and future are all happening at once; maybe we can merge with our higher selves; maybe we can evolve and change our bodies and reverse ageing; maybe we can perform miracles. Being open to all possibilities and being OK with changing our realities and our truths constantly helps us evolve away from suffering.
I know I don't want to live in a reality where old fashioned sayings such as "no rest for the wicked"; "good things come to those that wait"; "you must make sacrifices"; etc are what drives reality. This doesn't sound like a life that is fun and fulfilling for me and so I choose to create something different.
Shifting our reality means letting go of the old reality. We can't sit on the fence and live in the old at the same time as the new. At some point we have to choose what reality we want to live in, we create it, and then we live in it. This means saying goodbye to what was in the old reality - sometimes this can mean moving on from friendships, partnerships, work places or old habits and past-times. For most people this is a gradual process of trial and error and experimentation until they are ready to fully embrace the reality of their choosing - and if it is a very different reality to the people around them - then relationships can change - quite often those close to them will also move to a new reality and sometimes they will choose not to - this is OK. You can still co-exist but often in different ways.
It is time to decide what kind of world we want to live in, create those possibilities within our consciousness and then create our outer reality in the physical world that matches this. This can be done and it all starts with our individual willingness to experiment and give some new realities a try.
Back to normal.....
It is a phrase that we use often. When things start going crazy, a bit unexpected, or we are enduring an event or issue, then we seem to crave and hope and wish for the time that "everything goes back to normal". But this is actually an impossible wish - we can never go "back", and there isn't such as thing as "normal" in a healthy multi-dimensional life.
Instead, what we are really craving is a feeling of balance.
However, we confuse balance with control. We feel that in the "normal" way of life, we have control over our lives. When something large or unexpected happens we feel out of control and don't like the direction we are headed because it is full of the unknown and most of us fear the unknown because we don't know if we will have control over the outcome.
Normal = known = control = a feeling of balance
But we should be aiming for a change in perception to:
Trust in our life's flow and trust in the unknown (without controlling anything) = a feeling of balance
There is a part of us that likes to protect ourselves from perceived harm (some might call this the ego part of us). When a situation with an unknown outcome comes into our lives, our protector/ego parts get very distressed, because it can't do its job as well as it normally does. This causes stress as we fight with our life's flow to tighten the reigns and force life to give us more of what we already know works for us. To be faced with the unknown is very tricky for most people.
When we fight with (try to control) our life's flow then we cause our own suffering. It is like trying to row a boat upstream; exhausting and pointless.
Everything happens FOR us and not TO us - this is what flow means - we are guided to/given situations in our life from our higher self aspects to expand our awareness of ourselves, to help us make new choices that we may never have made before, and this creates a new reality of our lives and of ourselves. This is a life well lived.
It is why the unexpected events with the unknown outcomes make life so fulfilling. We find out more about who we are through these events and this is the blessing of life.
The unexpected/unknown give us an opportunity to grow, learn, evolve, transform and embrace life in way that we have never been able to do before.
Most people will tell you that the most difficult and unexpected/unwanted events in their lives turned out to be turning points that ended up bringing them a future full of joy that they couldn't have imagined previously. But the suffering through these unexpected/unwanted events (illness, divorce, retrenchment etc) is just that the unknown is not embraced as a wonderfully creative part of life. If we work with the unknown we will find balance at every moment. If we fight with the unknown then life will end up being a hot tricky and uncomfortable mess!
To work with the unknown requires a pretty big shift in mindset. We have to let go of a logical way of thinking, stop thinking about what should or should not happen, stop labelling events as right or wrong. This can challenge everything we previously believed about ourselves and our lives. The past needs to stay in the past and we are given the opportunity to wipe the slate clean and make new choices in every moment - not based on previous outcomes - but based on how we feel inside in each and every moment. We can then guide ourselves through the unknown by working with the unknown, embracing the unknown and recognising it for the creative force that it is in our lives.
It is not easy to change all of this over night, but if you are going through an unexpected life change or any kind of challenge, letting go of control and letting the unknown carry you forward can alter your experience of the event and lead you to the creative outcome that was waiting for you all along.
I have long spoken about how in my experience, putting up boundaries, barriers and protections in your life can be a disempowering practice.
I know this goes against most spiritual teachings which teach that protecting your energy and placing boundaries is a good thing, and sometimes for a short term it can be necessary, but long term it is not healthy and does not allow you to evolve and transform.
When you feel that you need to place boundaries around you and “protect” yourself from what you perceive as harmful, you are making these choices from a fear based perspective. And yes, in the 3D world there are things that are harmful. A more empowering practice is to place your focus inwards. To only concern yourself with your own energy, your own needs, your own wants and desires, from a divine self-love perspective. This is not selfish when perceived from a space of self love and nurture. Because when our needs are met from a deep divine place, then everyone else's needs around us can also be met. When we are respectful of our own needs then we are automatically respectful of the needs of others, and this creates a wonderful loving society to exist in.
A lot of inner work needs to be practiced before you can then project this deep self reflection out into the world. But when you are able to do this you no longer need protection from anything.
This is because two things seem to happen.
You are so aware of your own energy and your own desires and needs that you start to create your own reality from this space of deeply knowing who you are. Some may call this New Earth or 5D consciousness – and in this space there is nothing harmful and nothing that you need protect yourself from.
The second thing is that you are so connected to the real authentic inner you (soul/higher self) that you literally shine an energy so strong from you, out into the world that nothing can penetrate this to convince you that you are less than you know yourself to be.
These are practices and ways that we can all aim for. It takes a lot of self reflection and breaking of old habits and trusting in your divine inner self and soul searching to be able to reach this state, but it is possible. Just knowing what to aim for can pull us all towards living life this way. When we each create this new reality within us, it becomes a reality outside of us as well.
It is much more fun to live with many, ever changing truths than with one or two fixed beliefs.
When we have new experiences or receive new information then our truth can change. When we have beliefs, they do not change. You can interchange the words/meanings of truth and belief as you wish, but I will explain the words as I understand them.
We are empowered when we live by our truth, we are disempowered when we live by our beliefs (usually because our beliefs have been given to us and not developed by us).
Our individual truths will always be exactly that, individual. While we may share some similarities with others, no one will ever see the world quite like us, through the lens of our unique truth. When we share our truth with others they can try out our truth, in a way to help them discover their own truth.
Beliefs however are rigid and are either followed or they are not.
Truth gives our lives flexibility and allow us to evolve and grow.
Your truth grows and changes, and your truth about events that happened in your past also grows and changes. If you imagine a significant event from your past, you may see it now with different eyes, because the experiences you have had since, and your understanding of life have all added to your unique ways of understanding your own truth. You may have also processed many emotions and feelings that were attached to these significant events, which again enable you to see the even with fresh new eyes and understanding and therefore with a new truth.
If we stay fixed and rigid with our beliefs and our truths about ourselves and our world, then we stay stuck in old earth. We are all evolving and new earth is ready for us to anchor to, but we can’t do this if we are still anchored to old earth via our truths and beliefs.
It is time to throw away everything you ever thought and believed in, and leave a door open for new truths to fill you, to lead you, to guide you and to evolve within you.
If you are going through a stage of not really knowing who you are or what you want, then this is great, as you are letting go of your old fixed beliefs about yourself and starting to form new truths (hopefully based on the new earth energies). It may take awhile for the new truths to start to form but just adopt the truth that you are evolving, that you are moving towards something new, that you are OK, and that you are not alone in this.
Since I started my healing and teaching work many years ago my personal truths have undergone many evolutions. I stopped teaching Reiki for awhile because my new truths did not match what I was/had been teaching. I then came back to teaching after a break once I could integrate the new information and new truths I had inside of me. I have not taught for a couple of years, again, having trouble teaching a modality that did not match my inner truth anymore. It is very disconcerting when the “rules” change. But I am fluid in my flow to allow my truth to constantly evolve as my understandings and experiences also evolve. Holding on to our old truths just because they support an income or way of life that we have grown accustomed to is not very healthy in the long term. As my new truths surface and I find they don’t fit into the model of the business I have created, then services I offer to others need to evolve and grow with me. Here are some examples of how my truths have changed lately:
I still do hands-on healing work, but it is all heart centred (where my universe is). By introducing or showing my inner universe to others, it can trigger many vibrational changes in them and we can share information at much higher levels which changes the way healing works.
By staying in and living in my universe, it allows others to strengthen their own universes and live in integrity according to theirs. When we start interfering with each others universes (choices etc) then things get messy. We can overlap for joint endeavors in honest, unique and authentic ways, but ultimately everyone else benefits when we do what is best for us and our own universe.
When thoughts start spiraling in my head, when emotions come up, I look at these with the awareness that I created these reactions (someone else didn’t cause them or make me angry, sad etc). While others may have given me the gift of seeing what is inside of my human self, they are entirely mine to own and to process. Just by being aware and giving a different perspective view to these feelings, thoughts and emotions they are easily processed. But if I still believed they were the other persons fault, and that this negative circumstance was happening TO me (rather than FOR me) then it is almost impossible to process and integrate these energies within me and then move on. When I have processed these old thoughts and emotions I have more room for my inner universe to expand and grow within me, filling all parts of my physical body. I can integrate with my higher selves (future selves) and my soul essence (my unique aspect of source) and evolve and transform my life. By being too rigid in beliefs and not being willing to change and evolve, this transformation cannot take place.
As we let our truths become fluid and ever changing, we dissolve our ego selves, because we don't have to justify or prove or defend what we believe, do or say. We are willing to look within and make choices based on what feels best for us in each moment, based on our own unique truth in that moment and we become willing to course correct and make different choices at any time, because the choices were not made from a rigid belief in the first place.
I believe that knowing who we are at our unique soul level holds the key to living an authentic and joyful life. Once we know who we are, we can begin to BE who we are, and then BECOME who we were always destined to be.
Thank you for your support of this work....
Copyright 2018 Paula Vanderzon